We had a lovely Christmas. It started with our beautiful daughter coming into the bedroom to wish us Merry Christmas.
::some backbround::Weeks ago, I walked past LG as she was reading her email, and I caught a glimpse of “fat man grabs…” and something that looked like “..ass.” I have cautioned her about friends sending PG-13 rated chain emails, and I thought that’s what this was.
“What is that?” I asked, suspiciously.
“Nothing. Just an email from Kristen.”
I’ve known Kristen since she was in utero. I was surprised that she would send a vulgar email.
“Kristen sent you something about a fat man grabbing your ass?!”
At this, LG fell out. She laughed hysterically, unstoppably. I don’t normally use any vulgar language around her, and my mistake plus my unladylike language was too much for her.
“What?!” I said, giggling in spite of myself. “I saw the email, LG.”
“Mom! The email says ‘If a fat man grabs you and stuffs you in a sack, don’t worry, I asked Santa for a really good friend this Christmas!'”
Oh. I guess I saw the “fat man grabs” and the “..as” and well, yea::end background::
Fast forward to Christmas morning . . . our beautiful daughter coming into the bedroom to wish us Merry Christmas. We respond in kind, and say our good mornings, ask if one another slept well.
“I hardly slept at all,” I said wearily. “And when I finally did get to sleep about an hour ago, I had a horrible, horrible dream.”
“Aw, Mom,” LG says gently as she sits on the bed and pats my leg. “What happened?” The concern in her voice is truly touching, as she continues to inquire about my bad dream, “DID A FAT MAN GRAB YOUR ASS?” And we all dissolve into what must surely be an inappropriate response to a child’s vulgarity on Christmas morning.
God help her, she is my daughter.
What Was I Thinking? 
Thank goodness, she IS your daughter!!
Yup…that’s one apple that didn’t fall far from the ass-grabbing tree. Or something.
And what a fine young lady you are raising. Or at least, you are raising a wonderful daughter!!!
Smiles from down the road, and may the flu stay far, far away from your house!
Too, too funny!
I just love LG. She’s definitely your daughter! Glad you guys had a good Christmas.
I think hilarious laughter was the best medicine for you. So glad you felt better as the day went on. 🙂
I can’t wait to have convos like that with my kiddo on Christmas morning. Thinking of you, my dear, and hoping that all of your Christmas wishes were granted.
Fabulous story! Sometimes non-gratuitous vulgarity hits just the right note. Glad your day started out well.
Glad you had a great day, laying around in bed laughing is the best way to spend Christmas in my opinion.
LMAO!!! I suspect this is the first of many laughs like that you’ll have during her tween and teen years!
That is great. Truly great.
That is awesome. Mother-daughter bonding is supposed to be just that tender and sweet. *giggle*
I love that you laughed. It means she knows she can say anything and you love her.
My girls do and say that kind of stuff too. I usually end up cracking up hysterically and then when I’ve calmed down, I look at them and say “I probably shouldn’t be laughing at that buuutttt…” and I start laughing again. Bad mommy!
Awesome! Merry Christmas!
I’m here till Saturday. Wanna do coffee?
Heh! So… did he? Grab your ass? Inquiring minds want to know. 😉
Love you!
Happy New Year’s Eve Susie! I just know that 2009 will be the year you kick WTF’s ass! We’re rooting for you.