I first became aware of Stephenie Meyer’s “Twilight,” a couple of years ago, when I read on a tweens’ blog-hosting site how a number of pre-adolescents would JUST DIE if they couldn’t get more Edward. I read how they LOVED HIM, and cried when they read about him, and thought of his cold lips as they snuggled their cold-sided pillows. And I recall thinking, “What the…?” And I went Googling to see who this guy was, both for the benefit of my daughter and of my young clients. I read reviews of a book that included descriptions like “seductive,” and “intensely passionate.” And it wasn’t long before I started hearing from my then-10-or-11-year-old that her friends were “obsessed” with Edward. Based on the reviews I read, and the fact that I became aware that Twilight was the hottest fiction book on college campuses (no good reason that a book that appeals strongly to 20-year-olds would be suitable for 10-year-olds, I reasoned), I told my daughter she had to wait. At least until I could read the thing and know what the mania was about.
In the meantime, she was left out of lunchtime discussions, email round-robins, and the wearing of Edward Cullen (the hot teen vampire) t-shirts. Here, I must give props to my kid. She could easily have read the book without my knowing it. But she is a person of honor and integrity, and she repeatedly told her friends “No, my mom won’t let me yet.” I know this because I overheard her conversations, and because she has kept up the pleading with me, and one of LG’s friends even asked me why she couldn’t read it. I don’t underestimate how hard this was for LG. And I don’t underestimate what a good, strength-building exercise it was for her, to keep resisting what “everyone else” was doing and trying to persuade her to do. I’m proud of her; can you tell?
I discussed the book with a few other mothers, whose children had read it, and not one of them saw anything wrong with it. And almost all of them said some variation of “Edward and Bella wait until marriage to have sex!” I finally read the thing. And yes, they don’t have sex, but . . . see, he’s a 100+ year-old vampire in a hot teen’s body, and she’s kind of a plain jane, new kid in town. And he falls fangs over heels for her, not because she’s kind or wise or even cute, but because her blood smells so good! And she can’t believe that this totally hot, sophisticated guy could love her. And she’ll do anything to spend the rest of her existence with him. She risks her life repeatedly, consistently, to be with him. He’s strongly tempted to kill her. He kisses her tenderly, urgently, but if she responds by putting her arms around him or any other natural human inclination, he pushes her away and becomes angry, scolding, rejecting. But he’s quick to assure her it’s not her fault, it’s just that he’s angry with himself for being so inclined to drink all her blood when he gets excited.
I’m used to being outside the mainstream. Truly, I am. But I’m just scratching my head about the intelligent, responsible, thoughtful parents who think this series (there are three more after Twilight) is a good idea for their children. I’ve read the first two books. I liked them. My daughter asked me, “Did you fall in love with Edward?” I had to think about it. Meyer has a very engaging, even seductive, writing style. I finally answered, “No, but if I were twelve, I would have.”
My biggest concern is that girls with no template, no precedent for romance, take Edward, and Bella’s and his relationship, as something for which to aim. And there’s evidence (message boards, media interviews, Twilight merchandise sales) that indeed, they do. Again, here is a “boy,” about whom the girl’s parents can’t know much; every time she’s in his presence, her life is in danger; the “love” that they share is based initially on his powerful urge to kill her and consume her blood; he stalks her, always watching her — as she has a private moment on a hike in the woods, as she lies in bed sleeping at night. This doesn’t creep her out; to Bella, it’s a sign of love. The two are entirely consumed with one another, to the exclusion of any friends or social life, except that which is required to placate parents.
Meyer is excellent at creating strong erotic tension without graphic language or even sex beyond a G-rating. I have no doubt this is part of the appeal for tweens. Edward and Bella’s erotic longing and abstaining awakens very enjoyable feelings with which these young readers are unfamiliar. In that sense, the writing is remarkably skillful; it’s also remarkably risky. Again, the way Meyer handles the kissing scenes: Edward kisses Bella passionately, as she stands still, arms by her sides. If she moves to puts her arms around his neck, or kiss him back, he storms off angrily. She feels rejected; he assures her that he’s not angry with her, but with himself. Because lust gets mixed with bloodlust and excitement might lead to murder. Messages: sex and violence are powerfully linked; your (female) sexual response must always be subject to my (male) rules of what I (the male) can and cannot handle.
More messages: Neither wants, nor intends, to live without the other. That is, they do not want to continue existing if they cannot be together. Elaborate plans are made as to how this ceasing to exist could be accomplished, should the need arise. Bella has a dreadful fear of growing old (because Edward never will) and losing Edward’s affections. She is willing — eager, even — to go to extremes to prevent this. In her case, the extreme would be having a vampire bite, but not kill her, thereby “changing her” into one of his kind. She begs him to do this, knowing that it will mean the end of her human life, and quite possibly, the eternal abandonment of her soul to the dark side.
Yes, I know it’s only a story. That’s why I find it so inherently dangerous. Have these pro-Edward moms no grasp of the power of metaphor? Why would we want to reinforce messages that a boy who is (waaaay) outside the acceptance of society, who is possessive, pathologically moody, a stalker, immeasurably more experienced in every conceivable area of life (and death), secretive . . . is a good catch? And why do we want to send the message that it is true, a girl must forfeit her life (health, lifestyle, future, existence) to keep a boy?
I told my daughter she can read it, but not as her first experience of literary romance. She’s immersed now in more age-appropriate first-time romance stories. So she’ll be able to recognize a bad guy even when he looks really (REALLY) good.
Yes, I may need to lighten up on this topic. I am no poet, by any stretch, but for my kid, I have been known to do things that I cannot actually do. With these things in mind, I give you (and my daughter):
Ode to Edward
The tweens, how they scream
When his name is mentioned
They’re swept up in the dream
But he’s not well-intentioned!
Most think he’s all that
And while I think he’s not
I do wonder how one so ice-cold
Seems so HOT
His moods swing like jazz
And he sucks like a Dyson
I say he’s bi-polar
and a lot like Mike Tyson
The mommies, they love him
“He doesn’t want sex!”
But is that so surprising?
He’s more into necks.
They say, “He protects her!”
Like that’s enough, in itself
But bright people must concur:
It’s mostly FROM HIMSELF!
True, his family is wealthy
So he’d be a good provider
Thanks to Alice’s stealthy
stock trades (can you say “insider”?)
My lovely tween girl,
Don’t join the masses
In the growing fan swirl
Of themselves making asses
The guy’s not for you!
A centenarian stalker?
Surely you can see through
That blood-sucking sweet-talker
Don’t give your heart to Cullen
While you’re so young and fair
He’s brooding, he’s sullen
And all that “product” in his hair!
Really, how would it be
If you woke in the night
And there sat big E
Watching you!? What a fright!
When you get your first kiss,
And you want to kiss back
I don’t want him to hisssss,
Threatening jugular attack!
I want your first beau
to be a dream, not a dud!
One who loves the real you,
not the scent of your blood
It’s true that the sun
Makes that vampire real shiny
But you’ll have much more fun
With one less grumpy and whiny
Never tell a boy (or vampire)
“I’m yours, take my life!”
The outlook is dire
For such a man’s wife
If a boy loves a girl
And if that love is true
And he knows he’s not best for her
Hmm, what would said boy do?
Sometimes loving enough
Means saying “goodbye,”
Removing all your vampy stuff
To make room for a real guy!
Such a strong advertisement
Promoting love that’s obsessive
Please take this under advisement:
Avoid males so possessive
Page after page Bella pleads
with the guy,
“Put the bite on me,
lest I grow old and die!”
When you find your true love
Growing old’s no big deal
Your mirror image will change,
But not the way that he feels
With adult supervision,
Bella couldn’t pursue this
But Dad’s busy, Mom’s ditsy
And they’re basically clueless
So, enjoy the story —
In all honesty, I did
But don’t give Edward the glory;
He’s one messed-up vamp-kid
Now I’ve said my piece;
I’m not looking for fights
My opinion won’t cease:
Edward Cullen BITES
You are talented in so many ways. Bravo!
Love the poem! I haven’t read the books, but I’ve heard from adults that they’re very entertaining. Maybe I’m glad that I don’t have a tween daughter right now.
Aren’t these stories written by a Mormon woman? I wonder if the themes are more telling about the author than anything else?
Wow! I’ve picked up bits and pieces of this craze and the story, but here it is so well-laid out. Thank you!
(And you really are a poet!)
A relationship like this would be awful for either gender.
I wonder what is out there for geek teen and tween boys (which is what I’ve got)…
My 17yo went on a date to the movies last week; I helped him preview the options, but did not rule this one out. He & she chose Madagascar Escape 2 Africa. π
mrtl, muchas gracias. You are such a fine poet, I humbly accept your compliment.
squirl, I think you might like it. It is quite a phenomenon, really. So lightweight a 10-year-old likes it, but so compelling people our age like it. I have read opinions that there is a lot of Mormon allegory in the series. Don’t know enough about Mormonism to say. But the woman is a $$-making machine, with these books. They’re dark enough to appeal to the occult crowd, but throwing in the sexual abstinence thing, plus Edward’s vampire crew tries to be good and train themselves to only suck animal (not human) blood, so she’s got the conservative Christians too, and everyone in between. It’s really quite a formula she’s hit on.
kc, I was wondering if boys are reading these books. I rarely hear about that. They could learn a lot from Edward. Because he’s 100 years old, his manners are really fine π Oddly, I’d rather LG see the movie first, then read the book. The movie (I’ve discussed this with Twitfriends in the know) can’t really capture ALL of the erotic undercurrent in the book. (And thank you.)
And don’t even get me started on Jacob! The physical pressures he puts on Bella … and to have girls saying that is how they’d want their boyfriend to be.
My 14 yr old has read the books (after I did) and we saw the movie this weekend. She comments on the “creepy, stalker moments!” when Edward was watches Bella sleep and other non-ideal boyfriend traits. She is older than LG and has read a few other classic romance books (like Jane Austen, and Louisa May Alcott ). Personally I like the Twilight series, but they do need a hefty dose of reality check discussion to go with them.
Once again, I’ve forwarded your link to my daughters, the middle school teachers. Cogent reflections on a seductive phenomenon, darlin’.
Bravo!!!
I’ve read all 4 books, thoroughly enjoyed them, and have gotten other (adult) people hooked on them. But I’m a middle-aged lady and can make the judgement to ignore the dangerous themes you very correctly articulated, and go for the stuff I like (love me some vampire stories, and I’m a slut for erotic tension). I think you are right on in holding off with LG – and kudos to her for respecting your concern! If I had a daughter your age, I’d absolutely do the same, and then when she *did* finally read them, we’d be having a big old talk about what is so thoroughly fucked up about those books.
Again, bravo, susie!
Hey there! First, I wanted to ask what age-appropriate romance is LG reading? Miss B might like it too… π
Second, I’m with you! Miss B actually brought the book to my attention – not because she wanted to read it (and she is a dedicated bookworm) – but because she was bewildered at the behavior of the girls at her school who had formed a “Twilight” club…which I found kind of funny (because didn’t I have a “Babysitters Club” club? But that’s not important…).
Anyway, then I saw the movie trailers and wondered what it was all about. Like you, if it’s questionable, Miss B is not allowed to read it unless I read it first. So, I picked up a paperback. Honestly, I thought it was poorly written…or maybe just written in a form that a tween would enjoy and that I no longer enjoy; although, I believe JK Rowling & CS Lewis did a good job of writing to all ages, so I think it’s POSSIBLE…just didn’t happen with “Twilight” for me. But then the subject matter is decidedly more “adult” and that part bothered me…written in “tween”speak, but plotted to the adult mind.
(I realize I used too many quotes there)
So, after finishing the book, I decided that Miss B would just have to wait a while. Thankfully, she’s not that interested in reading it anyway. She is; however, extremely fascinated with me finishing the book over a weekend and sees that as a “it must be good” sign – but it’s funny how that piqued her interest more than the school buzz about the book.
To conclude (and I should probably just go get my own blog, huh?) – I agree with you 100%! And I will be picking up the 2nd installment soon, because dangit, that woman does have a way of making you want to know, “what happens next???”
well you know my opinion on this but I can appreciate yours as well. My daughter and I have had long discussions about the book and the different points of view, and whether Edward is a sociopath or not. She gets it. She and I read the book at the same ti me. I do not think I’m being naive, either. she sees it as a fictional story. I also read Romeo and Juliet, and not once did I think of killing myself for a man. π Bravo to LG for respecting your wishes, that is fantastic. She is a great kid.
I definitely enjoyed the poetry. I would have done haiku though it is a lot less rhyming and thinking!!!
Twilight gets the tweens
Jumping and screaming just like
High School Musical!
You Rock Susie.
Have I told you today how amazing you are?
The way you can lay out and precisely comment on this book and your thoughts about it and how you and Jif are raising that fabulously smart daughter of yours to respect your ideals and values…
YOU are AMAZING.
I love this. Sending to my sister and her partner (J Girl’s moms).
After seeing the movie, J Girl and her sisters came to our house for a sleepover. We went to pick out a Christmas tree and they cut the bottom of it for us so the cut would be fresh. There was a leftover stump about 5 inches tall and 5 inches wide. J Girl asked if she could keep it. We said sure.
By the time we got home she had named it Edward and kissed it several times.
Sheesh!
I agree with Allisone – it’s a great series to read, very entertaining, cute and adorable (even with the creepy stalker moments) but you need a MASSIVE reality check.
Amazing post, you are absolutely amazing and your daughter is quite lucky to have you as a mother – you are obviously open minded enough to let her in on things but also watchful enough to keep an eye and make sure she ‘gets’ it.
Kudos!
ditto Nils -forwarding to my middle-school-teacher-son.
Thanks Susie!
I wish all parents would pay attention to their kids, interact with them, risk conflict, listen and respond thoughtfully as you have done here. Also, I’m so happy that you stated how proud you are of LG for being a person of integrity. I’m proud of her too, and of you for that matter. In our house, integrity’s just about the number one priority — who you are when no one’s looking.
Although we’ve let our daughter read the whole series, and even accompanied her and taxied her friends to the midnight premier of the movie(!), it has all been with very intentional parental engagement and supervision. Now, she joins the discussions at school, and takes with her our perspective. One of her friends who was swooning over Edward has recently given her “Edward’s Girl” t-shirt away after a discussion with my daughter. But my girlie’s a few years older than yours, so that does make a difference to me.
Anyway, just sayin… you continue to amaze me and gladden my heart, sister of mine.
I have to say I agree with you here about the book’s themes and innuendo. As an adult, I liked it because I could identify the dominant/submissive elements of it and they definitely stood out as erotic. I think for an adult to enjoy a fictional taboo relationship with these themes is entirely acceptable, but it really squicks me out to think that 12 year olds are assuming that this is “ideal” or “normal.” Eugh.
My two youngest daughters have read the Twilight books. Of course they are 19 and 16 however, they also talk to me about what they read and how they feel about it. K tells me that the author isn’t that great a writer but she does tell a good story. A tells me that no one else can know she gave in and read the books because she doesn’t want to ‘be like everyone else’. They went to see the movie (which was filmed not too far from us) and came home cracking up because it was so fake and over acted etc. My daughters are wise beyond their years and I’m grateful for that. You, my dear, are a gifted mother and your LG is as blessed to have you as you are to have her.
I have this feeling that a major network will be contacting you soon. That poem rocks!
Stick to your guns. I would and will, too, when the time comes. Mwah!
Here I have to disagree. It’s called romantic science fiction. Even lots of “normal” books don’t portray ideal relationships. If you only looked for books that reflected a perfect reality, you’d 1) have a hard time finding them and 2) be bored reading them once you did.
Loved the poem, though!
allisone, I’m with you, completely. In a couple of years, with more literary romance experience to balance out the negative messages, I’d have no problem with the books. And yes, absolutely, kids need the reality discussion.
nils, thank you very much; somehow I expected you’d argue. You’re wiser than I thought π
htgt, thank you again for your twitter perspective, which helped me clarify some of these ideas. I’m with you, it’s thoroughly enjoyable for adults, and even older teens. Just not healthy for children.
nessa, LG’s mother-daughter book club is now reading Pride and Prejudice. We also found a series that she LOVES– I don’t know how you feel about “Christian teen lit,” but that was her selection when we went looking for romance. By Robin Jones Gunn, the “Christy Miller” series. LG’s review: “I like the characters, they do fun stuff, they’re not stupid, they’re not really religious.” So there you have it.
I did enjoy Twilight, as I’ve said, but maybe in part for the reason you didn’t like it. It really doesn’t require much thought at all; so the thing that makes it like potato chips for middle-aged, over-stressed types makes it accessible to the tweens. Funny thing, my daughter had a similar reaction to Miss B, when I read the second book in a weekend. She said, “You must really love that book.” I just showed her how big the type size is in it — like books for kids — that’s how I got through such a thick book so quickly.
jana, I think what is most important is that parents talk to their kids about whatever they’re reading. You’ve got that base covered. And every child is different. My child is a lot like me. She sometimes takes in more of the world than is good for her. She would not have been ready at your daughter’s age.
I can’t do haiku; I think because of the math requirement π
william, thank you, honey. Flattery will get you gravy π
ck, your check’s in the mail π
sheryl, well, that is one discerning niece you’ve got there. Kissing a stump would actually be very much like kissing Edward. Hard, cold. But not so dangerous. Excellent choice π
sahar009, welcome, and thank you. I completely agree, whether this book or any other, communication is the thing. Kids want to know what our values are. They really don’t want to be left to figure things out for themselves with no guidance. I won’t get on my family therapist soapbox just now; I’ll leave it at that.
barb, I love that you and Nils are doing that. Maybe I should forward this to my daughter’s teachers. I think many of them are as smitten as the kiddies.
shari, my fondest hope regarding this topic is that LG will regard the characters as your daughter does, and as that friend does. And know that it’s entertainment, it’s not a life plan. I think that perspective does come with age and experience, and those couple of years make a difference. I wish I could find it again, but somewhere online, I read a teen answering the question, “should pre-teens read Twilight?” And the teen’s answer was something like, “Sure, if you want your kid to admire a stalker whose girlfriend has the brain of a seahorse.” My kind of kid π
kat, I’m with you; I was entertained (sometimes in a love-to-hate way) by some of the themes that I really don’t want my daughter being confused by.
traci, we are preparing to see the movie with a heavy dose of “camp.” We told her the only way we’re taking her is if we can wear fangs, and hiss at her from time to time, and occasionally run a piece of ice over her cheek so she’ll get “that Edward feeling.” She’ll hate it all by the time we’re through with her. π
umutha, ya think? I could be a real poet? A… network poet? Hey wait a minute, there’s no such thing…
kristi, thank you, on the poem. I’m not sure what we disagree about. I agree completely with both your 1) and your 2). I can’t think of any fiction I’ve read that reflects perfect reality; I’m not even sure what that is. It’s not the books I object to. It’s passing them out to kids, especially with no adult involvement — which is how most kids read, sadly.
this took me back to my 14 year old self who bought Interview With The Vampire and my mom THREW IT AWAY.
Allisone – I am SO happy to hear girls are still readin LMA!!!!
…genius burns!!…
I was going to comment on “sucks like a Dyson” but I must confess:
I saw “bloodlust and excitement might lead to murder” and I’m so bloody (!) tired that I saw it as:
“bloodlust and *excrement* might lead to murder”
Going to bed now, thank you very much…
Well, as it is simply impossible to follow Bucky with anything as funny I’ll just say I wish my mom took half the interest when I was a tween that you do with LG.
operagal, I don’t think I read that one, just saw the movie. Some have compared these books to my generation’s “Flowers in the Attic.” Remember that series? That was some sick shit right there. I guess a cute vampire with a conscience is a step in the right direction from that mess.
bucky, I don’t know about murder, but bloodlust and excrement canNOT lead to anything good. Of this I am certain. Good call.
kranki, thanks for that. I’m not sure if LG feels that way now, but I hope she will someday. And if not, oh, well.
As a Teaching Assistant Sub, often in middle schools, I have seen _Twilight_ tucked into many bookbags.
This is the first review I’ve noted, and I consider you a credible source. I’ll send a link to a couple folks who would be very interested.
I’m really glad my own sons are older now. Raising kids takes too much vigilance and energy.
My boy read the book! He caught the buzz at school, and in his class both the boys and the girls were reading it. (They are an Enrichment class, fewer girls than boys; I don’t know if that makes a difference.) So he asked to get it and I read it when he did.
I think if I had a girl I’d want to talk to her about the implications of Edward and Bella’s relationship. (With my son, I’ve been more concerned overall about his exposure to violence in video games than romance in books.) What I found about the book was that it depicted an “ideal” that almost any girl could come up with on her own at that age anyway. What I’m trying to say is, the books’ success is not based on creating something out of nothing (which would mean you could preserve the “nothing” by not reading the books). The book’s success is based on tapping into what’s already *there* in a young girl’s mind.
I would see the book as a great intro to the subject, a way of talking about different types of relationships so you can discuss the relative merits — or flaws — of Edward, Jacob (second book and onward), and Mike and the other hangers-on that Bella dismisses. I would also want to talk about just how “fantastic” the whole thing is. One thing I liked about the movie was that Bella and her father kept going to the diner — in the book, Bella moves in and takes over preparing dinner every night, keeping the house clean, going grocery shopping, all that stuff. For some reason, THAT bugged me more than anything to do with Edward. Her relationship with her parents was just as “wrong” as any other relationship in the book.
Okay, this is getting too long, so I will stop now.
[…] Then I found this: Ode to Edward: One Momβs Dissent. […]
(crawling out from under my rock to jump up and down excitedly!)
Susie, I so very much appreciate your ability to capture this topic, name it and in a non-threatening way and then face it tactfully with your tween! I applaud you… and I forward your link to many folks.
Thank you for your stand with LG and for your post!
(back underthe rock I go)
Great stuff, Susie. I read with no small amount of trembling over what awaits me in ten or so years.
My own parents never censored what I was allowed to read. That was a BAD idea and gave me way more information from poor sources than they can imagine.
Your handling of the issue w/ LG is inspirational to me as a mom of a yet-to-read toddler. Kudos!
ps- My Little Mermaid Smackdown has gone well; she’s all but forgotten that we ever had the movie. Hooray.
Susie: I have kept Tanner from even looking at the Twilight series as a result of your excellent work on the subject. He is a little put out that he can’t discuss it with the other dogs out by the fire hydrant, but I stood firm. π
Seriously, good work. I will be ith my nieces for a bit this Christmas, and if I catch so much as a whiff of things Twilight, I will be all over that mess toot-sweet!
mrsDoF, in some ways, parenting is always the same, but I must agree, these days more vigilance is required.
karen, at first, when I read your comment, I thought, “no, no, no.” But after letting it settle a bit, there are aspects of Edward that girls (and middle-aged women), do dream up and wish for all on their own. But the aspects that concern me — the stalking, the moody snapping at her, the fact that he’s someone she can’t be honest about — those things are introduced as part of a package that I don’t think most girls would fantasize independently. I completely agree that the book provides an opportunity to discuss all sorts of topics re: friendships, relationships, family. And I was also not comfy with Bella taking over the care and feeding of her father.
saharsblog, thanks for the linkage!
HRHdotp, very nice to see you, always. And thank you π
(Do you have a blog?)
fuzzy, my parents had no idea what I read. Which is why throughout my adolescence I waited for Sonny Corleone to drive up in a black sedan and whisk me away. This was not the healthiest plan for a 13-year-old.
lawyerchik1, I think you are wise to handle it this way with your boy. I don’t think Edward likes dogs. Dogs are very intuitive, not to mention sniffy. Tanner would be onto him like … a dog on a vampire.
Had to de-lurk to comment, THANK YOU so much for this! I have been unable to put my feeling re: Twilight into words. My (25 year old male) friend has been trying to loan me the books and get me to see the movie for months and just doesn’t understand why I’m not into it. Maybe he’ll understand it from you (though, he thinks the relationships between Bella and Edward is normal/romantic/attractive, maybe not). Anyway, just a thank you on saying what I’ve been trying to come up with!
Wow, this is great to see. I am impressed with how, as a mother, you are able to make sure your daughter does the right thing even with massive peer pressure. It made me proud of her too! I loved the poem and wanted to ask you if I could send that to my daughter on myspace..She’s 13 and has been to see the movie. She’s not much of a critical thinker and reading your poem (which was beautifully written btw) would be great for her. Like me, she tends to think only from one angle until shown another.
minnabrynn, my pleasure, and thank you for taking time to comment. π
pariah, (I feel bad calling you that!), Thank you for saying such nice things, and of course I’d love for you to share it with your daughter. I like how you put that, “tends to think only from one angle…” I think that’s true of all of us. The trick is staying open to seeing/hearing the other angles. Thanks for stopping in. π
SF,
I had similar reactions to Grease (the musical). I was a tween in that era and Danny and his friends would have been way off limits to good girls. I enjoyed the music, but did not like the fact of glorifying drakes. It was a shame when they ended with Sandy changing and not Danny.
I haven’t got around to Twilight yet but the twins have read them. Its on my list.
Ah, I agree about Grease. I loved the movie and still watch it once in awhile, but, as an eternal nerd, it always bothered me that Sandy had to change. That totally ruined the movie for me when I first saw it. I remember asking my Mom why couldn’t they have become cool nerds instead, and the last scene would have been in the library, making it cool and all.
Maybe I still have issues with that lol
My step-daughter (12 years old) began reading the books before I did. She was already onto the second book when a huge red flag went up. She said that the school library wouldn’t sign the fourth book out without parental permission. Thanks for the help, guys! Anywho, I decided I had best figure out what the Twilight craze was all about.
I picked up the first book and read it in two days. She was really excited that I was reading it and that she would have yet another person to gush with.
Our first discussion consisted of her telling me that every one of her friends identified with one of the characters. She identified with Bella. When asked why, she said that they were both clumsy (her mother had been telling her that since birth) and they were both sarcastic and totally committed to relationships. I’m not sure if I handled it well, but I told her that I thought she was a lot smarter than Bella. I couldn’t see her abandoning all of her friends, her family, and her life for any boy. I also pointed out how alone she was because she didn’t even try to talk to her family about things that were going on–things that might have made it easier to cope with.
Long story short, I am now struggling (oh my yes, struggling!) through the fourth book. My step daughter is still reading it too. Her mom finished all of the books; however, she is more interested in being a friend than a mother. She’s even going to get a “Team Edward” T-shirt.
By the fourth book, I find the whole saga totally twisted. There is a complete lack of morals, and all of the characters are totally consumed by their own selfish desires. At times I find her writing laughable because it is just so immature.
It’s good to know that there are other involved parents out there. Thank you! I was feeling decidedly square for not thinking Edward was the be-all end-all.
stepmom, thanks for your perspective. Your step-daughter is fortunate that you’re willing to be so involved. I’ve read two books so far; I will read the others eventually, I imagine. As I told my daughter, I hope someday she and I will be friends. But not now. Now, she has plenty of friends, and only one Mom. I need to stay the Mom; because she needs to have one.
LOL don’t feel bad a bit..if you knew me, you would instantly realize why it is my name..thanks for the permission to share that with my daughter..she’s actually reading the book now and she doesn’t usually read anything..I sincerely hope she is able to get more out of it than the movie..
To Susie..I get so much flak for saying exactly that..but it’s true..how can you be a good friend when you have to judge what your child is doing? By definition that is a pretty crappy friend lol…I can’t wait for my daughter to grow up so that we can be friends because she is really cool!
I’m now in my twenties and my mother and I are becoming friends – but even now, she is always first my mother, then my friend. Pariah, I hope you have the same relationship with your daughter, because I can tell you that I look forward to each Mother-Daughter outing with more anticipation than going out with friends π
It always freaked me out, even as a kid, to see parents acting so familiar with their children. I was a bit of a difficult child myself, in that I tested the boundaries a lot – because my parents were always into their role, I knew that I was risking a punishment, and because they were loving and friendly, I knew I could consult with them and perhaps change an unfair punishment.
Just felt compelled to share that π
ahhhh!!! ik this is late but ur poem was funny. i’m 13 and my mom wont let me read it( i GUESS that could POSSIBLY MAYB BARELY be a good thing) but my teachers are encouraging me to read it and I’m getting made fun of (love you too mom π ) grr so like do u guys have any suggestions?
I have 4 daughters, 2 of them are fans of this book series, but not to the point of obsession. I am a huge fantasy fan, as is my husband, and I am eagerly anticipating the next movie coming out next month. I agree w/ some of your points about Edward being a poor choice as a boyfriend/ role model-type yet I am at ease w/ my own girls reading about his relationship w/ Bella for a number of reasons. #1, it is a great introduction for them into the realm of “what if?”/fantasy. Einstein used to hail that the greater of the two, intelligence vs. imagination, was by far imagination. Vampires, ESP, clairvoyance, werewolves and the like couldn’t be more “outside the box” for imaginative sparks to fly. #2, it has made reading “trendy”, which I haven’t seen in my entire 36 years on this planet. The popular kids, the cheerleaders, the brains, the everybodies are reading for once, and the same book! Can’t you see what a huge accomplishment this is?! They have an equal ground for conversation that might just well break down some stereotype barrier walls. #3, yes, the relationship between Bella and Edward is a bit creapy in many aspects like stalking and passive-agressive behaviorisms, Edward’s bipolar’ish personality and the constant presence of death as an overtone, BUT: thinking back to the “ideal” or romanticised couples from my youth and even before and we get the unrealistic (love at first sight) Romeo and Juliet that of course ends stupidly. We have Bonnie and Clyde from the 30’s that were a cult phenomenon; hundreds of Halloween trick or treaters dressed up as the murdering, robbers. If you want to mention the sexual overtones then you have to remember Flowers in the Attic, a book every little girl in my class obsessed over in the 4-6’th grade that had incest (not to mention child murder by the grandmother), Judy Blume’s “Are you there God, it’s me Margaret” (I’m not entirely sure this is the exact book I am remembering reading at the age of, oh, 12, but I remember a bathroom floor intercourse portion of a book by that authro between the main character and her boyfriend and they were both teens). I remember reading to the end wondering if she was pregnant. Pick a book, and you will be able to tear it apart, heck, look at the bible, it has beastiality, polygamy, murder, incest, homosexuality, genecide…I could go on…Yes, I do see your points regarding Edward stalking her and his violent dendencies and posessiveness to be disturbing, but the sad reality is that you will find that on every single block in every single suburb and city worldwide from the beginning of time to it’s end. What you need to do as a parent is be informed, which you did and I applaud you for, but then to also be a good role model in your own relationship(s) and in your verbal instruction to your child. A kind and attentive parent will empower a girl to grow up and expect that exact same treatment from her boyfriend. A book isn’t going to be able to make that type of impact, ever! …..even the bible.
Great Blog!……There’s always something here to make me laugh…Keep doing what ya do π