It was the first time I’d been to the park in over a year. The four of us — Biscuit the VBD included — were feeling quite cheerful. Until we heard you.
We heard you before we could see you; you were hidden by forest, around the next bend of the paved walkway. We heard your menacing voice shouting, “What did I tell you?! You know better! You will NOT behave this way…” I felt sorry for your poor kid, just trying to have a nice afternoon stroll through the park.
Then I saw that it wasn’t one kid, but two. And it wasn’t kids; it was dogs. Two grown, but young, chocolate labs. You were coming toward us, leashed dogs cowering, your face a scowl. The VBD became very excited to meet your two dogs. I held him firmly to my right side as we passed you, because I feared that he would incite your dogs to “misbehave” in your eyes, and incur your wrath again.
I don’t know what they did next, but you took it quite personally. Just as we were beside you, you yanked their leashes down to the ground, forcing them to their bellies. You pinned the one by the neck, and started screaming in their faces again.
“You KNOW better! What did I say?!”
I wanted to kill you. At least hurt you badly. You don’t abuse dogs. And you don’t fucking ASK a dog, “What did I tell you?” Did you think he was going to answer you?
Are you psychotic? Or just mean? We didn’t confront you, because you were out of control. And I didn’t want to talk to you; I wanted to yank you to the ground by your collar and scream in your face, “You KNOW better! You will NOT behave this way!”
I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I wanted to follow you, see where you live, so I could report you. Jif said, “But what would we report? That he’s an idiot? That he yells at his dogs?” I thought if you’d act that way in public, there’s no imagining what you do to them behind closed doors.
We were still talking about you that night. Clearly, you wanted to be noticed. You weren’t a frustrated dog owner, hissing “Oh, come on!” under your breath. You were putting on a show. You wanted people to see you.
Jif said you were showing off. Showing how authoritative you are, what a good animal trainer you are. It took me a minute to get my mind around that, but I think he’s right. You thought you were impressing someone.
You weren’t. Least of all, your dogs. They snicker at you behind your back, and fart in your shoes while you sleep.
What Was I Thinking? 
Oh, I’ve seen that behavior before, and worse. It raises feelings in me, just the ones you described, that I have a very hard time coping with. I’ve called the animal shelter at least twice about stuff I’ve witnessed. Once it turns out they knew about the guy I had seen punching his dog in the face and wanted to know his last location. It’s a tricky thing because, of course, the animal is going to suffer in the end because that’s where the perpetrator will direct his/her anger. I try to practice nonconfrontational things I could say to diffuse the situation, but I don’t trust myself to not lose my cool.
htgt, That’s precisely how I felt. I tried to imagine saying just the right thing to defuse the situation, but I know that wasn’t possible. And anything I imagined that seemed realistic ended up with someone getting hurt and/or arrested. That someone most likely being me, or Jif. I now daydream of having a dog trainer’s card in my pocket to hand to him, and an SPCA card in my pocket to hand to his dogs.
There should definitely be a way that the owner gets the same treatment he was inflicting on his dogs.
I do not treat my dog that way…but maybe her being annoyed with me could explain why my shoes stink.
Ugh. Do not want.
*sigh*
For the record, over the weekend, my 12 y.o. witnessed a ski-dad from some other team berating another skier — his son — in a most public, humiliating way, at full voice, in anger with raised fists… over the child’s performance on the race course. We didn’t see it and our own son didn’t mention it until we were in the car on the way home or I absolutely would have reported it.
People suck. I understand it comes from some place of damage to themselves at some previous time, but that somehow lessens their suckage NOT ONE WHIT when they behave that way to other defenseless beings over whom they have authority.
Just reading about this makes me so angry. I’m not sure I could’ve kept myself from saying something–even though it may not have been safe.
I actually yelled at a neighbor one time when I saw him mistreating his dog. After he put the dog in the house, he stormed over to our front step and knocked on the door. Then we stood yelling at each other (with me shaking like a leaf) for a few minutes before I said, “This conversation is over,” and closed the door in his face. I am the most non-confrontational person you’ll ever meet, but when there’s a dog involved I sometimes do it before I even have a chance to think about it.
This just made me feel so sad and broken inside.
It’s sad that we humans tend to pick on those *we perceive* as less powerful than ourselves.
I’m trying to think of a way you (or anyone) could have communicated with him that would have made him re-think or stop his behavior but right now I can’t think of anything with likelihood of effectiveness.
There is no accounting for people who act without empathy…
It can be MADDENING.
The part that really makes me sad/infuriated is that there aren’t strong enough laws in place to properly deal with people like this. Here’s to hoping the dogs wise up one day and drown his sorry ass in the bathtub.
Oh, those poor dogs…
One time I confronted someone who was acting badly in public. I wasn’t scared (even though he was a scary man), but my husband was worried for me. The other bad thing about it was that the woman with him was ashamed for him, and I made her feel bad. I stopped and walked away, mostly for the woman’s sake, though also because I didn’t want to worry my husband.
In the end it accomplished nothing.
I wish people didn’t abuse others (human or otherwise) too. There is no “best” way to handle it. You did what you had to. I’m sure those dogs would have really been hurt that night had you confronted him.
Personally, I hope they fart in his face at night.
I think your safety was the most important thing for sure and I’m glad you didn’t get in this guys face. That said, I wonder…if that guy treats his animals that way, I can only imagine how he treats his children. Or his partner. I do wish we had tougher laws in place to deal with this kind of thing but I’ve got to be honest…we don’t care enough about the children in this country to keep them all safe and loved…what could we possibly do for animals? I’m sorry you had to see that Susie.
His dogs won’t dial 911 when he suffers a rage induced heart attack but watch him die slowly and in pain. Then they will raise their legs and pee on him.
What a dick.
Little man trying to feel big and important. What an ass to do that to poor, helpless dogs.
This is not really a good comment, but …. at least maybe he only has dogs? At least, that’s what I thought until I read the part where he grabbed the dogs and held them down by their necks……then, THEN….. Well. I thought that it would have served him right if someone had come along and beaten the crap out of him, taken the dogs (and him) to the police station, and then sheltered the dogs until a more loving and suitable home could be found for them……
I’m literally shaking. I want to kick people like that in their throats and I hate it when people make me want to be violent. Grrr. Those poor dogs, they deserve so much better.
Those types of situations are the ONLY times I miss my ex. He was an animal behaviorist and would have approached the man and tried to explain the error of his ways. How the dogs are not able to comprehend what he was trying to convey to them in that manner. If that didn’t work he would have kicked that guy’s ass and left him a bloody heap on the ground because he was *that* kinda crazy (a restraining order was granted in my favor when I broke up with him, ’nuff said)
What sadistic, immature behavior! The dude has me thinking that perhaps folks ought to be evaluated and licensed to own pets.
ouch! My animal defense nerve just boinged! There should be a dept. to report people who are overly stupid and then they should be given a severe thrashing and humiliation. Not many dogs could be more willing, eager and loving than labs. People will treat/raise their children as they do their dogs.
Yeah, what do you report? There’s an idiot here? I have had to watch idiot neighbors leave their dogs to the weather with no cover trying to dodge rain and sleet. Heartbreaking; I call the authorities when I can.
Maybe we could ban together and post our thoughts about this on a front page a few times, etc. Think they would get it?
OH!! AND wow, how great to hear you out and about in the park!! AND, feeling well enough to even take VBD!! I’m very happy for you. Such good news.
It’s a shame he thinks he has to be noticed by abusing his dogs. I’m just sick about how awful those poor dogs felt.
And it all happened when you were out and about with your family at the park for the first time in about a year. No wonder you blogged about it.
btw, what a damned good writer you are!
Sorry you had to deal with the manchild on your outing.
What a dumbass. Hope he doesn’t have offspring.
My Lola will still make herself as small as possible and low to the ground when I want her to come to me. Its rough having two dogs, just like two kids because they gang up on you, but Al was afraid she would have been killed if we didn’t take her. She really is a sweetheart. Reminds of another dog I had to take away from his owners before he suffered too much from baby abuse. There is so much need and many times one feels helpless about such situations like that. I have trouble watching Animal Planet sometimes.
Since getting a dog of my own, I find these stories hit me that much harder! And, it doesn’t help that I have a nearly two year old chocolate lab…ugh.
I can’t stand that little minded person who berates anyone/any being – just to make themselves feel better – to feed their ego.
Like you said – did he think the dogs were going to answer him? – I mean seriously.
I would have wanted to say something like – “your pathetic” on my way by….something berating to such an idiot; but you’re right, he probably would have taken it out on those poor dogs.
On the bright side, if he continues his outlandish behaviours, people will begin to take notice and someone will be bound to contact the animal authorities.
PS – I called the Police one time on a father that was yelling at two very young children outside the mall once. It was frightening to see someone yell at such small children….frightening.