Whereas, having been born on the day of the feast of the Epiphany, and whereas, “epiphany” is a very cool word to say, and inasmuch as I have, throughout my adult life, allowed myself a second chance at “New Year’s Day,” for purposes of resolution do-overs and the like, by proclaiming January 6th the REAL first day of the new year, and
Whereas, this year of our Lord 2009 has, more than any other in recent memory, gotten off to a particularly sucky start for myself and numerous friends, both online and off (as well as for various public figures); and having obtained endorsement of such a proposition by numerous, notable online friends, I do hereby propose (and decree, and maintain, and . . . PROCLAIM, yea that’s what I was going for, a PROCLAMATION)
that the New Year of 2009 shall, for all intensive purposes* begin on THIS day, January 6th.
Happy Birthday to me (and August95, and Shari’s husband, and I hope William’s baby but I can’t promise anything there THEY DID IT! THEY DELIVERED — AND BY THEY, I TOTALLY MEAN LAUREN — BABY JACKSON GREY ON MY BIRTHDAY! AND HIS, OF COURSE. WOOFREAKINHOO!!!!) and
Happy New Year to you!
*Today is the only day on which this phrase may be used; all other days, one must say, “for all intents and purposes.” Today is also the day that any and all other malapropisms (and/or “eggcorns”) will be most welcome here. After today, however, we must nick them in the butt.
What Was I Thinking? 
Hey I am up early…and so are you. Happy Birthday to you Susie. Happy New Year.
I love Epiphany Lamps.
Happy Birthday and Happy New Year, Susie!!!
For all intensive purposes is just a case and point. I really shouldn’t get started on the eggcorns.
Here’s to the real start of a great new year.
Happy New Epiphany Birthday Year!
Happy Birthiphany-day Susie. I’m “keeping my prayers crossed” for a great 2009 for you.
Thanks, also, for clarifying my husband’s speechisms. Now I know they are eggcorns when he says he simply can’t “phantom” why some people do things. 🙂
Happy BirthdayNewYearEpiphany, Susie! Have a splendiforous day!
PS – William, tell Lauren to start pushing!
Happy Birthday to you Susie and may you get more than frankincense and myrrh.
After my opinion*, this NEW New Years Day is a brilliance concept (given my own rocky start to the year – what is UP with that??).
Happy Birthday, susie!!
*My very favorite eggcorn, courtesy of my dearly departed Danish grandma.
I’m so glad you clarified your use of “all intensive purposes.” I could really care less about grammar and it would probably be a good thing.
Irregardless . . . Happy, happy birthday! And happy New Year!
I have many intensive purposes, but the most intensive today is to wish you a HAPPY BIRTHDAY and a HAPPY nude… I mean NEW year!! 😀
Happy New Year, darlin’. I know the first few days have been torcher (dude, seriously – someone once IMd me with that!), but now that 2008 has been kicked to the curb, we can look forward to a happy – and healthy – year ahead.
I’m still celebrating Jellybean Day. Happiest to you!
I felt mischeeveeous today, so I came to the party butt naked.
Happy New Year, Susie (and happy birthday, too)! Many happy returns of the day!
Woooohoo! Bucky’s nekkid!
Wait a minute, is that the origin of the phrase, “buck nekkid”? OUR SISTER IS FAMOUS!! Or infamous… whichever.
Happy Smith’s & August95’s & Susie’s Birthday!! Yay for Epiphany babies! I’m partial to them. (Of course, I’m also partially crazy, but don’t tell anyone.)
If anyone says I don’t wish you a happy birthday, it’s a bold-faced lie.
I may be back with more . . . 🙂
You’re doing what to Nick’s butt?
Happy Birthday, Susie! Here’s to a WTF-free year! Hey, maybe Lauren and William will have their baby today, on your birthday, and they can name him after you. You know, “A Boy Named Sue(sie)” Ok, maybe not.
Happy birthday Susie! And Happy new year as well!
I must compliment your well-reasoned “whereas” clauses. Strong work.
Happy Birthday and New Year. So here is to a really wonderful year. I was thinking “bad ass year” not sure where that came from, but sounded appropriate.
Happy Birthday Susie!! Best to you and the New Year!!
Happy Birthday Susie, and Happy New Years……Epiphany is a very cool word to say……and so is Susie…..hope you will have a very wonderful 2009…..just thought I’d stop by to say hi….it’s been a while….judy
Happy Birthday!!! Happy New Year!!! Happy Epiphany! And a late Merry Christmas too!
Hugs!!!
Happy Birthday and Happy New New Year. May all the Very Bad Things (VBT) “tow” the line and stay where “there” supposed to. Hopefully you don’t have a “photogenic” memory and 2008 will soon feel like a distant “pigment” of your imagination..
Ooooh, MAD PROPS to Kranki!
I admit I have an alterior motive in visiting you today, which is to wish you a HAPPY BIRTHDAY! It’s a doggy-dog world out there, but I hope 2009 treats you well.
Happy Birthday! You’re post made me laugh ’til the tears were running down my legs!
The best way to make my father’s head spin around and then explode is to tell him that his point is ‘mute’.
kaBOOOM!
Lauren Had the baby on your birthday. Everything went well, she even had an Epicurean to help with the pain.
Happy Birthday to Susie and to William’s new baby! Epiphanies are completely cool!
william, Congratulations! I can’t believe it. It was some time during the 7 p.m. hour that I sent you the “tick tock” message. I was just messing with you! I had no idea of the goings on that were going on, right at that moment.
Big hugs and bigger blessings to you, Lauren, and Your Three Sons. 🙂
squirl, ah, yes, the case and point. Happy New Birthday Year New Day! Or something like that. Happy 2009.
Thanks, melissa, same to you!
barb, hee, thanks for the delightful eggcorns. (Personally, I still think “malapropism” covers the whole shoot and match, but no one asked me.)
charlotte, she did! She pushed! Can you believe it?
jana, I did! I got a blogson! Jackson, the blogson. Can’t beat that.
htgt, that is a wonderful eggcorn, and one I hadn’t heard. We must never take those grandparents’ eggcorns for granite.
shawkey, so, you’re saying you could care less about grammar, eh?
kc, thank you for the intensity of your wishes.
nils Amen. I like “torcher.” It applies; those first few days should have been torched.
mrtl, I’m touched that you would wish me jellybeans while you’re trying to de-sweet.
bucky, you butt-naked; now that’s a sight to bare in mind.
lawyerchik, thank you kindly; I, too, hope for many happy reruns of the day.
shari, and they to you, my dear. 🙂
shawkey, that’s very good, on the sperm of the moment!
mrB, don’t you worry about it; I’ve had no complaints from Nick.
CB, Jif had the same suggestion. But Jackson’s nice, too. 🙂
ern, why, thank you. I thought I was pushing the antelope a bit, there.
nina, I like the sound of a badass year. As you know the next bday is a biggy. I INSIST upon reaching that one much healthier and happier than this one. You have a badass year, too.
aprilz, thank you so much. I’m going to try to make it a good one.
judy, hi, there! Nice to see you 🙂
effie, happy greetings to you and your lovely daughters, too 🙂
kranki, as always, you are far too kind. You have an extensive knowledge of poor word usage; I’m impressed.
shari, is she the bee’s pajamas, or what?
kalki, it IS a doggy-dog world! Wishing you a happy New Year as well. 🙂
lisa, welcome, and thank you for pointing out that “mute” is inappropriate in that context. What people mean to say, of course, is that it is a “mooed point.” This is a point that is so stupid it sounds like something a cow would say; and who listens to a cow? The point is mooed.
william, as you know, you made my freakin’ day/night. Probably not as much as Lauren and Jackson made yours, but still.
traci, the coolest. Tres coolio, as the youngsters say.
Happy (belated) birthday to you, dear Susie.
I love that you can proclaim the New Year to start at your whim. I shall remain stubborn and, although I love that it SHOULD start on your birthday, am still holding over until possibly Saturday, or Sunday… maybe Monday at the latest for the New Year to start. MMmkay? 🙂