This post always gets a lot of searches this time of year. And truly, I can’t top it for a Thanksgiving offering, so I hereby make it a WWIT tradition, presented for the third year:
Across the hall from my office is what I believed to be a daycare center. Turns out, it is some sort of work-release program for 3- and 4-year-olds, from which they operate a turkey farm. As you can imagine, it’s been a busy place this week. I’ve dealt with a turkey or two in my day, so I thought I’d take a moment to offer some last-minute turkey selection guidance, with a little help from my turkey-raising friends across the hall.
Do look for:
A plump, confident bird that will look you right in the eye. All parts should be . . . “in the ballpark,” so to speak.
AVOID:
A bird that appears intoxicated, or just effin’ goofy. You don’t want that.
The upside-down turkey, with crossed legs and shifty eyes. May also exhibit a paranoid demeanor. This bird will NOT digest easily.
Watch for the inbred turkey. Its feathers and legs tend to grow inward. Also be leery of turkeys with excessive glue or other miscellaneous white liquids dripping from their beaks. You just don’t know where a turkey like this has been.
This is the “WTF” turkey. Any bird that elicits, as your first response, a startled “WTF?!” is to be avoided. Just say no.
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Little did I know, back in the day, just how much WTF (turkey, illness, whatever) was to be avoided.
I thank you for coming around here. You cheer me, you encourage me, you inspire me, you frighten challenge me. I am thankful for this blogging thing, and the ways in which its powers can be used for good.
I added a new page, recently, in the spirit of Thanksgiving. It may take some other form some day, but for now, it’s just a page that gets longer and longer. I hope your list of blessings gets longer and longer, too.
That “WTF” turkey makes me glad I’m a vegetarian. The thought of accidentally eating one of those is just too scary.
Oh I love these! And have I been reading your blog for three years now?!?
They make me smile like the first time. Other then John, I don’t think I have ever said that to anyone before. I don’t think I will tell him I said that about paper turkeys. π
Gobble-dee, gobble-dee goop, watch out for that turkey poop.
(no need to thank me)
Still loving the paranoid turkey. And I still say it’s just trying to be polite, not take up too much space, and leave room for all the other turkeys to grab the spotlight. π
This post reminds me of how long I have been lurking, the reading, then commeting on your blog. I love the crazy turkey farm post!
I’ve had days where I’ve felt like that WTF turkey. I can’t believe it’s been three years either!
I’m in a pretty big online forum for moms and someone asked last month for holiday crafty ideas. I sent them here and to your snowman post. LOVE THEM!
soozieq, yea, that accidental eating can be dangerous.
m&co, even though it’s the third appearance of the turkeys, that actually covers just two years, from turkeys one to turkeys three π
nina, John and I, we’re good like that π
mrB, lovely verse.
karen, a humble bird. I can see that.
michelle, thanks for all of the above. This and the snowmans remain my favorites, I think. I need to get back to the daycare and see what they’re doing.
shawkey, me, too. Two years, three turkey farms.
mrtl, thank you! I love that π
If you read carefully on a pack of turkey dogs you will see that effin goofy ones make up 93% of the dog, 6% water and 1% foreign material.
Everytime I see some new artwork from the kids at the preschool Buddy attends, I think of your turkeys, Susie, and I smile all over again.
I’ll have to see what’s on display at the preschool this week and get a picture. π
Jeff – I think the effin goofy ones are more 93% foreign material and 1% dog. π
Every now and then when I need a chuckle I search this past post out. It always makes me smile.
I have always loved this post. I’m glad it’s a tradition!
Very cute, what a great age to embrace art. I love your sense of humor.
Thanks for bringing the WTF turkey post back for a third season! π Makes me want to get out the construction paper and glue…..
Those turkeys make me smile every time. π
thanks for sharing.
I was hoping for the Turkeys again this year. It’s truly one of my all-time favorite posts — makes me laugh like a hyena!!
Susie, I’m thankful for you, for this lovely place you’ve carved out on the world wide wobble, and for the love and laughter that swirls around here. WTF can take many valuable things from you, (and it has, and for that I just want to kick its sorry ass); but even at its worst, it cannot disguise the beautiful person that you are, nor can it take from you our RatsAsstafarians friendship and love.
Happy Thanksgiving, Sis. Blessings to you and yours.
*sniff*… Yeah… what Shari said. In spades.
Yay! My favorite post ever.
Happy Thanksgiving, Susie.
Thanksgiving is a time for traditions and I can’t think of a better one than the Susie’s Annual Turkey Parade.
Have a good holiday. You are a blessing to all.
Oh! I LOVE this post!!! It is definitely one of my all time favorites!
i love the turkey trot. the shifty eyed one with the legs crossed? hilarious!!
actually, he kinda of reminds me of me when i have to go to the bathroom……..urgently!
another wonderful post!
Hey, Susie: I had to tell you – I was at some friends’ house last night, and they have a soon-to-be six-year-old whose turkey was on the fridge. It was a slightly less plump but sstill confident bird that did, in fact, look people right in the eye. All the parts were βin the ballpark,” although it had a cowlick or something. The feathers in the back were …. sort of half on one side, half on the other.
The only thing was, it had pinpoint pupils. Methinks the bird had either had a stroke or had been drugged…… π
Thanks for the laugh! I enjoyed all the turkeys, but especially the WTF turkey.
[…] to be a short week, due to the Thanksgiving holiday, I would suggest that you take a trip over to Susie’s for your pre-Thanksgiving planning.Β She usually puts this post up for Thanksgiving, but in case […]