Archive for November 19th, 2007

This post always gets a lot of searches this time of year. And truly, I can’t top it for a Thanksgiving offering, so I hereby make it a WWIT tradition, presented for the third year:

turkey farm

Across the hall from my office is what I believed to be a daycare center. Turns out, it is some sort of work-release program for 3- and 4-year-olds, from which they operate a turkey farm. As you can imagine, it’s been a busy place this week. I’ve dealt with a turkey or two in my day, so I thought I’d take a moment to offer some last-minute turkey selection guidance, with a little help from my turkey-raising friends across the hall.

Do look for:

good bird

A plump, confident bird that will look you right in the eye. All parts should be . . . “in the ballpark,” so to speak.


visually challenged turkey

A bird that appears intoxicated, or just effin’ goofy. You don’t want that.

inverted bird

The upside-down turkey, with crossed legs and shifty eyes. May also exhibit a paranoid demeanor. This bird will NOT digest easily.

ingrown turkey

Watch for the inbred turkey. Its feathers and legs tend to grow inward. Also be leery of turkeys with excessive glue or other miscellaneous white liquids dripping from their beaks. You just don’t know where a turkey like this has been.

afflicted turkey

This is the “WTF” turkey. Any bird that elicits, as your first response, a startled “WTF?!” is to be avoided. Just say no.

Little did I know, back in the day, just how much WTF (turkey, illness, whatever) was to be avoided.

I thank you for coming around here. You cheer me, you encourage me, you inspire me, you frighten challenge me. I am thankful for this blogging thing, and the ways in which its powers can be used for good.

I added a new page, recently, in the spirit of Thanksgiving. It may take some other form some day, but for now, it’s just a page that gets longer and longer. I hope your list of blessings gets longer and longer, too.


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