Some craziness has gone on at work lately, reminding me once again that working with mental health professionals is no guarantee of working with mentally healthy professionals. I’m reminded of something therapist and author Thom Rutledge said at a seminar once, “People do not go into the mental health field because they’re thinking, I am just SO mentally healthy, I really must spread it around.” No. It’s because we’re nuts. The good ones understand the ways in which they (we) are nuts, and make peace with that; the not so good ones do not recognize their own craziness, and inflict it on others for a fee.
Since I’m not nuts enough to write in detail about my current employer, I will share instead the craziness of a former professional associate. Actually, this guy wasn’t a therapist, but a priest. Let’s call him Father Benny. He was the pastor of a church in which I was placed by the outpatient therapy branch of a major religious service organization. Fr. Benny would pitch hissy fits every so often, and come storming into my office shouting (about his staff), “These people are crazy as hell! Line them up and give them some therapy! Quick!”
Stored away in that part of my brain that sometimes toys with the idea of trying to write a sitcom, is the memory of Fr. Benny at the annual 50/50 raffle. This raffle was a big money-maker for the church, and curiously, the drawing was not held in public, but in private, with only Fr. Benny, his secretary, and a nun or two there to witness. One day I stopped in the office at drawing time. Fr. Benny unceremoniously stuck his robed arm into the box with the entries, and pulled out a ticket. Let’s say it was the ticket belonging to Joe Fortunata. I will never forget, although still “can’t believe” what Fr. Benny did next.
He pitched a hissy fit, saying, “I’ll be goddamned if I give the money to that sonofabitch Fortunata! You all just keep your mouths SHUT about Fortunata winning. That NEVER HAPPENED!” Fr. Benny drew three more tickets before he found a suitable winner of the random drawing.
Hmmm. Perhaps Rutledge’s principle is applicable to clergy as well: “They don’t go into the God business because they think, I am SO holy, I really should spread it around.”
Well, that poor Fortunata guy. He wasn’t very fortunata, was he?
The business of people going into a profession because they are necessarily good at it really rings true. When I was in college I dated a guy who was majoring in psychology and he told me outright that most of the psych majors were majoring in that field because they were all weirdos who wanted to figure themselves out, LOL. I have never forgotten that, and ever since I never assume someone is automatically good at their profession just because they studied it in college and someone gave them a job.
P.S. I am still trying to think of a good anecdote for the Foot in Mouth post below. It’s like joke-telling: you know a million of them until somebody says, “So, tell us a good joke.”
OMG, that’s horrible about Father Benny! Aren’t there times when you wish you didn’t know as much about the people running an organization!?
I also think that there is some additional degree of understanding and empathy that can be shared if the therapist has struggled themselves with their mental health. If I’m talking to someone about my struggles, I don’t want to do it with someone who is Mr./Ms. Perfect.
I have a young friend who just completed 3 years in the army. He did it so that they would pay his college bills. He once commented to me that I’d be surprised at how many guys joined the army specifically so that they could kill people. He knows this because they told him.
A therapist colleague of mine has a cartoon on her wall of two people standing on a corner looking at a nude man chasing a nude woman across the street. One of the two watchers is saying to the other, “Good Lord! That’s my therapist.”
I photocopied the cartoon and added it to the ones on my wall.
It’s like going to see an overweight doctor, who smokes.
Sounds like your stories would make a much better sitcom than most of what’s on TV these days…. 🙂
From what I’ve seen, you are right on target. When I worked at a shelter for abused kids, one of the workers stole the Thanksgiving turkey!!! The turkey! For the kids!!
I wonder if Father Benny moved to MY parish!! 🙂
Yikes. Sorry things have been crazy for you lately. Hope it gets better, hon.
Love and prayers.
I find it interesting that your post is about not so mentally healthy mental health professionals today.
I’ve got a few stories of my own however I don’t have the energy to write ’em down yet!
I’ll just tell you what a therapist friend of mine told me about a gazillion years ago, before she went into teaching instead…
“Honey, we’ve ALL got a diagnosis.”
If you want to hear about a screwed up psychiatrist, read “Running with Scissors” by Augusten Burroughs. It is a true story about a kid who is sent to live with his crazy mother’s therapist. The things that went on in that house! It was made into a movie recently, but I haven’t seen it. The book was good–it’s one of those that if it were a fiction book, you’d be thinking, “Yeah, right. That would never happen.” But knowing it’s a true story made the book that much better.
I had a friend that went to culinary school..she later confided to me that for most of her life she had battled anorexia and bulimia…she told me this after she had her teeth capped from all the damage she did to her teeth from the bulimia..WTH?…..and once, my best friend was dating a therapist…in the newness of their relationship he told her he was just beginning work at a new place because he had gotten into a fist fight with a patient(it was the patients fault @@)..he was constantly telling her stories of how crazy patients were….when she finally had enough of him she broke up with him and he came to her house and threw the toiletries and clothes she had left at his house on her front lawn…and then he called her constantly to tell her how crazy she was….didn’t she know what a catch she was letting go?…she had to get a restraining order against him after even more bizarre stuff…lolz..WTF…WTH…??
I have more. You’re Fr. Benny story would make a great sitcom!
I’m sure the clergy are just as human as the rest of us. What a shame that they can’t control themselves better, given the level of trust they’re allowed. You know, altar boys?, need I say more?
I wanted to be a psychologist and my ex always told me that they’re all nuts. Maybe I fit right in then and really did miss my true calling. 🙂
And, yes sis, you are a very complex person. 😉
I’m with Squirl — every profession has the distinct disadvantage of relying on humans as its practitioners… including clergy and MHPs. Still, if dear Fr. B had an issue with giving the prize to only “qualified” winners, perhaps the event shouldn’t have been touted as “random”. The story though? Hilarious!!! Love you!
ortizzle, didn’t you like my little joke with the name? I don’t really remember his name. People going into psychology/psychiatry to figure themselves and their family members out doesn’t trouble me. It’s those who go into it with that need, but never meet that need, who inflict their crap on the rest of us.
ern, yes, on the one hand; on the other, I wish everyone in the parish knew about Fr. Benny.
I agree, I wouldn’t want to talk to a therapist who appeared never to have had problems. And of course, my clients never have to worry about that 😉
htgt, I don’t doubt it. I’ve encountered cops like that; name any profession and there are people in it for disturbing reasons.
ssnick, I LOVE it! And of course, there’s the “Therapist Gone Wild,” in my post from a while back.
william, my dentist has lousy teeth. I really like him, though.
cheryl, you think? Maybe some day…
jana, heh, Fr. Benny may very well be running your school, there 😉
ladybug, sigh. The thing is, it’s not so much “lately,” as it is . . . lifely. Sometimes I weather it better than others.
traci, I think that should be the motto of the American Psychological Association 😉
cb, I did read it, and I saw the movie. As one in the biz, I was horrified, but I had no trouble believing it, sadly.
elizabeth, I have heard of people who won’t eat, loving to feed others. And the second story — that’s pretty scary.
squirl, yea, say no more. I won’t start on that.
And you say I am a complex person as though you have some inside information 😉
shari, the childlike or childISH part of me still wants clergy to behave better than the rest of us. And somehow I don’t think the church would have raked in as much dough if the flyers had said, “Winner to Be Determined by How Much They Suck Up to Fr. Benny!” heee
It’s a sad day when you realise these things aren’t quite the innocent fun they seem. I had a similar sense of shock when I realised that all the quotes I’d been reading for years were made up by PR people who then asked if it was OK if they said you said that! Oh and like when the guys in Strategy asked me to pick a number between 1 and 250 and I did and they used it as part of their forecasts that went before the UK Board. What’s even scarier is that some months later, we actually hit that number! 😉
Fr. Benny is just who I need. I never win anything, but with Benny the fix can get in there and make me rich. What’s his fax, you know?
I’ve often wondered about the raffle which says “need not be present to win”.
Now I know what the leader of the committee has in mind.
Wow…that’s just something else. That story reminded me of a raffle in our town for a Harley Davidson motorcycle.
It was down to the final ten, and the last thing they had to do is take a key out of this fish bowl and if it started the motorcycle, that person won.
The secretary, almost darn near in front of everyone in a very badly carried out scheme, traded keys with the mole in the group so that he would have the winning key. When pointed out (before he ‘tried’ his key) he pulled out a toy harley and claimed that she was asking him what that was in his jacket. The toy was an exact replica of the prize. He had to ‘rev’ it up for the group, then wouldn’t ya know? When it was his turn, his ‘key’ magically started the motorcycle.
The city got the proceeds to the raffle tickets that got the top ten to the drawing, and somehow the motorcycle…here’s the best part: it was ‘won’ by a city employee and was back on the lot by the end of the week as a new bike from someplace far, far away.
A few years ago, I put together some training/info for the new members of our church council. As part of the discovery process, I interviewed current members of the council and asked them, “What piece of advice would you give new members?” One woman basically said: “Don’t expect this role to give you spiritual fulfillment. It can be very discouraging because you see all of the pettiness and all of the things that go into the “business” that is the church.” I think we all want to wear the rose-colored glasses.
Every other month at work, we hold a drawing for people who’ve completed a specified online training session. I can tell from the logs how long they’ve spent in the session, and if they were present for less than half the time or if they were present for much, much longer than it actually took (indicating that they probably started the session and then walked away from the computer), I secretly exclude them from the drawing. You’re not going to bust me on the internet, are you? Oops–I just did!
Hmm… I’m an Executive Assistant — you don’t think that’s because I’m so organized, do you?
People are kinda kooky.
Hmmmm…very interesting, huh? When I graduated from high school I worked for a few months in a retail clothing store. Our district manager (the big cheese) would come to our store often and always made such a big deal about security. Her pet peeve was employee theft and she used to spot search our purses, knapsacks etc. for store merch we might have nicked. We never sold anything smaller than a sweater so stealing stuff wasn’t easy in a handbag but nonetheless she would root through our bags like gestapo airport security.
She was later fired for stealing company merchandise on a grand scale.
platy, oh dear, you work in a very seedy biz, there. Seems we all do.
hoss, Fr. Bennys are a dime a dozen; yours is out there!
mrsDoF, ha! Hopefully that phrase doesn’t ALWAYS mean that.
joyce, that’s so wrong. Not a pretty city.
shawkey, the first part, amen. In my church, it definitely has become a case of “wish I didn’t know now what I didn’t know then.” With WTF, I have stepped down from all leadership positions, and I needed the break. Although Jif is still very active, so I still hear about the craziness (because I ask!).
And aren’t you just the little detective and karma dispenser there at work!? Cracked me up.
ck, actually, I think you are quite well-organized. I marvel at your homemaking prowess.
kranki, ah, yes. Another illustration of one of my favorite proverbs, “As one is, so one sees.”