Because I really miss blogging, I am going to take the unprecedented action of sharing a recent therapy session of my own — that’s right, where I was the client. It went a little something like this . . .
Susie: I’m getting sicker, and they still don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’m at some doctor or lab or radiology place at least once a week now. This week, they’re trying to rule out parasites and ovarian cancer.
Therapist (who is, as you’ll see, a sick, sick woman): You know, ovarian cancer has the best ribbons.
Therapist: Not that I want you to have it, or think that you have it; I don’t. But my daughter and I always say that among all the different ribbons people wear for their different diseases, ovarian cancer has the best one . . .
Susie: What’s it look like?
Therapist: It’s turquoise. Breast cancer is OK, but it’s such a wimpy pink; fuchsia would be better . . . but, yea, ovarian cancer is a real nice turquoise.
Susie: I do look good in turquoise. But what I really need right now is a ribbon that you wear when you’re sick as shit, and no one knows WTF is wrong with you . . . Is there a ribbon for that? I’m gonna go to the fabric store and see what I can find . . . I’m thinking one with some monkeys on it . . .
Therapist: . . . or clowns, maybe . . .
Susie: I’ll find something. I’ll be wearing it next time you see me . . . unless I have a parasite . . . then I’ll get a big rubber worm and pin it to my lapel . . .
Initial tests for ovarian cancer are negative. No word on whether I’ll be sportin’ a big ol’ worm, but I will say, given the list of things we’re looking for, a worm would be a thing of beauty and a joy forever. My energy, and my times of feeling like a living, breathing human, are sorely limited, and I try to direct them to RL endeavors. I do miss you all, and I did want to tell you what’s up, as best I can. Please keep me in your prayers. I know that they work. I know that I have better days when a bunch of you remember me that way. No doubt.
Now, help me out. Any suggestions for what someone in my uncertain situation should wear on her lapel, to call attention to the cause? Again, that would be ” ‘Cause no one knows what the hell is wrong with me.”