As before, these are unrelated to one another. If you try to make them make sense, you could hurt yourself.
LG, bring me the scissors! Run!
No, Biscuit.
You’re sending porn to the hospice? *
What if your credit card gets reclined?
S (opening the mail): This says I’ve been nominated for “Who’s Who in American Women in Healthcare”…gotta fill out forms…I’m not going to do this…
J: Why not?
S: I don’t wanna be in “Who’s Who,” I wanna be in “Who Zat?”
J: No, try for “Who Dat?” Much more prestigious.
No, Biscuit!!
I just checked WeatherBug. What should I wear for 69?
S: Would it be inappropriate for one to yell, “YOU SUCK!” to the Red Knight, while here at Medieval Times with one’s church group?
J: Yes, it would. One mustn’t do that. One needs to yell, “THOU SUCKEST!”
LG (to Jif): Dial it back, Denzel.
(Shocked and amused silence.)
J: Did my daughter just call me Denzel?
S: I believe she did. I believe that’s exactly what she called you.
J: LG, is that what you called me?
LG (getting worried): I don’t know what a denzel is. Is that a bad word?
S: If you don’t know what it is, where did you hear it? What do you think it means?
LG: I heard it on The Proud Family. I think if a Dad is going on and on about something at the dinner table, then you say, “Dial it back, Denzel.”
S: Oh. Dial it back, Denzel.
*There is a story behind this. I’ll try to post it next week!
“Things You May Have Overheard #1″ is here.
