As before, these are unrelated to one another. If you try to make them make sense, you could hurt yourself.
LG, bring me the scissors! Run!
You’re sending porn to the hospice? *
What if your credit card gets reclined?
S (opening the mail): This says I’ve been nominated for “Who’s Who in American Women in Healthcare”…gotta fill out forms…I’m not going to do this…
J: Why not?
S: I don’t wanna be in “Who’s Who,” I wanna be in “Who Zat?”
J: No, try for “Who Dat?” Much more prestigious.
I just checked WeatherBug. What should I wear for 69?
S: Would it be inappropriate for one to yell, “YOU SUCK!” to the Red Knight, while here at Medieval Times with one’s church group?
J: Yes, it would. One mustn’t do that. One needs to yell, “THOU SUCKEST!”
LG (to Jif): Dial it back, Denzel.
(Shocked and amused silence.)
J: Did my daughter just call me Denzel?
S: I believe she did. I believe that’s exactly what she called you.
J: LG, is that what you called me?
LG (getting worried): I don’t know what a denzel is. Is that a bad word?
S: If you don’t know what it is, where did you hear it? What do you think it means?
LG: I heard it on The Proud Family. I think if a Dad is going on and on about something at the dinner table, then you say, “Dial it back, Denzel.”
S: Oh. Dial it back, Denzel.
*There is a story behind this. I’ll try to post it next week!
“Things You May Have Overheard #1″ is here.